Sadly, the title for this post sings in my head as “owner of a lonely heart.” No, I can’t explain why. It’s like trying to explain why random Simpsons or Monty Python references find their way into my head, even when I can’t quite place which episode or skit they belong to. Some thing we must just accept.
In July, I posted that what I hoped would be “Phase 3” of a personal transformation would soon begin…and I did try. I went slo-carb, along with my wife (man, oh, man, it’s a lot easier to do if you’re partner is doing the same). I kept riding to work everyday. I kicked my own ass in the gym, and started a new lifting program. What I got was burnt out. Tired most of the time, and sore. Worst of all, I aggravated a shoulder issue that had been riding me ever since my return to the gym. I ended up spending almost three months going through ART therapy on the shoulder, and have recently switched to straight physiotherapy–partially because I ran out of insurance coverage for ART, and it’s expensive, and partially because ART just didn’t seem to be fixing the problem the way it normally does. I’ve also given up most of my lifts for the past month, as the list of things that I could do painlessly began to dwindle. The last straw was pain during deadlifts–which are probably my most-loved lift.
My other July hope, that I would manage to drop the second 20lbs or so that I’ve been wanting to get rid of, has become a promissory note, at best. Even on full slo-carb, I just wasn’t dropping down past 225, and the volume of work I was doing left me voracious and angry most of the time, which is neither helpful, nor kind to my family. I do plan another run at it soon. Perhaps things will actually go better during a time of year when I’m not hauling ass back and forth to work on my bike, and lifting 4 days a week. It’s tough to say. Broken wing or not, differing timeline or not, I will get there. Sometimes we just need a little more time, and a little less self-recrimination.