A Quiet Moment – #6

There is a phrase “jack of all trades, master of none” that I’ve largely lived my life by. I hate being caught in a situation where I don’t have SOME knowledge or understanding of what to do. That can be very handy when, like this morning, I can help my co-workers find and reset the breakers that they’ve accidentally flipped, but the other side of that equation can be really annoying, at times. Take for example, the renovation work my wife has tasked me with at home. Now, I have a decent, functional knowledge of basic woodworking; I can use my various saws and tools to complete tasks. However, renovation projects in a 50+ year old house, in a city built on clay gumbo deposited when the area was an inland sea, can be frustrating.

No angle is perfect in my house. Nothing is precisely level or straight. Most of the doorways and closets are non-standard sizes, making thing like replacing doors a giant pain in the ass. Most recently, I’ve been redoing the trim and putting some beadboard (wainscoting style) up for my wife in our back entrance way. Naturally, the corners nearest are not 90 degrees, the door frame is metal, making it more difficult to attach the trim, and some bulges around the door frame from the house twisting ever so slightly make it impossible to correctly match up two 45 degree cut pieces of door trim. Surely a master carpenter would understand how to fix it. Sadly, for today, I am not that master carpenter, and my wife’s schedule for renovations is always rushed to ensure the project is done before someone visits the house and sees it in disarray. That means that a certain…speed and efficiency is in order, rather than a pondering and rethinking.

What’s a man to do but caulk the crap out of things?


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